I was looking through old folders for interesting Land Rover stories
stashed away on my computer and came across these two old emails
I had saved
As the scene opens
Our heroine is sitting at the end of the day, a bottle of
ale in hand, staring at a pair of front leaf springs, oil and dirt
encrusted, laying in the dirt. The ends of each leaf separated
from its neighbour, showing the stresses of 37 years under a working
Land Rover 109.
Our heroine is dressed in greasy dusty levis and a black tee shirt
equally showing the day's efforts. She has old grease up past
her elbows, a grease smudge on one cheek and more than a couple
oak leaves caught in her hair. She sits in the warm glow of the
lowering sun, occasionally taking a sip from a bottle of ale while
contemplating the day's work. She has just
finished replacing the Land Rover's ancient front leaf springs
with new one ton springs and extended shackles. She had to use
her spare set of new rear 'U' bolts to tie the axle to the springs
because her new front ones did not come with nuts and there was
no local source of BSF nuts. She had to drill out the holes in
the bottom plate one size to fit the larger diameter rear 'U' bolts.
Once the springs were on, she discovered that 109 regular shocks
are not long enough to fit under a 109 with one ton springs and
extended shackles. She was going to have to order a new set of
shocks on Monday. After installing the new springs and shackles
she had adjusted the front brakes and topped off the front axle
fluids before replacing the front wheels. A long day's hard work.
The 109 now sits noticeably nose high. The rear view mirrors provide
views of the dirt behind the Land Rover and the headlamps are aimed
to signal UFOs.
As she takes another sip, she contemplates the next step of the
project,, replacing the rear axle housing with
its broken axle. Sitting nearby is a fresh Salisbury unit and
new rear springs. With new rear springs The Green Rover should
once again sit level. She contemplates the worn rear springs
with the tattered rear check straps currently under the 109. Except
for the weight of Salisbury, the job shouldn't be too bad. The
rear 'U' bolts were replaced on both sides a little over a year
ago after ripping out a pair while rock crawling in a desert canyon.
One of the rear shackles is only a few years old. Replaced because
the old one broke. There should be no rust back there. The leaks
from the engine has been keeping the undercarriage well lubricated.
New leaf springs, rear drive shaft, shackles, shocks, check straps,
and 'U' bolts. A temporary reversal of entropy.
As she takes another sip, she feels the aches of wrestling the
front leaf springs into place and lining up the front axle. She
wonders how she got so out of shape and so old. Entropy, always
the enemy to be fought; always the final victor. No matter how
valiant the battle, or how many times your efforts set back the
forces of entropy, entropy can not be denied its due in the end.
As our heroine takes another sip of ale, she feels that she has
achieved a greater insight into Norse mythology and she is not
comforted by it.
TeriAnn
A citizen of the internet community since 1986
Saved from a 1996 email
I don't remember where this came from but
I had to save it to share. This is the story of how our
world almost came to an end ages ago. Back
before Microsoft copied the Macintosh interface, back before
the Macintosh put concepts developed at Xerox park to practical
use, back before the folks of Xerox park developed concepts
of a more natural user interface using this mouse thing recently
developed at SRI, back in the the beginings of time, there
was ... the command line editor. And
so in the begining of time: ...
>THE CREATION:
>In the beginning there was the computer. And God said
>c:\>Let there be light!
>Enter user id.
>c:\>God
>Enter password.
>c:\>Omniscient
>Password incorrect. Try again.
>c:\>Omnipotent
>Password incorrect. Try again.
>c:\>Technocrat
>And God logged on at 12:01:00 AM, Sunday, March 1.
>c:\>Let there be light!
>Unrecognizable command. Try again.
>c:\>Create light
>Done
>c:\>Run heaven and earth
>And God created heaven and earth. And God saw there were
0 errors.
>And God logged off at 12:02:00 AM, Sunday, March 1.
>And God logged on at 12:01:00 AM, Monday, March 2.
>c:\>Let there be firmament in the midst of water and
light
>Unrecognizable command. Try again.
>c:\>Create firmament
>Done.
>c:\>Run firmament
>And God created firmament. And God saw there were 0 errors.
>And God logged off at 12:02:00 AM, Monday, March 2.
>And God logged on at 12:01:00 AM, Tuesday, March 3.
>c:\>Let the waters under heaven be gathered together
unto one place and let the dry land appear and
>Too many characters in specification string. Try again.
>c:\>Create dry_land
>Done.
>c:\>Run dry_land
>And God divided the waters. And God saw there were 0 errors.
>And God logged off at 12:02:00 AM, Tuesday, March 3.
>And God logged on at 12:01:00 AM, Wednesday, March 4.
>c:\>Create lights in the firmament to divide the day
from the night
>Unspecified type. Try again.
>c:\>Create sun_moon_stars
>Done
>c:\>Run sun_moon_stars
>And God created lights in the firmament. And God saw there
were 0 errors.
>And God logged off at 12:02:00 AM, Wednesday, March 4.
>And God logged on at 12:01:00 AM, Thursday, March 5.
>c:\>Create fish
>Done
>c:\>Create fowl
>Done
>c:\>Run fish, fowl
>And God created the great sea monsters and every living
creature that creepeth wherewith the waters swarmed after its
kind and every winged fowl after its kind. And God saw there
were 0 errors.
>And God logged off at 12:02:00 AM, Thursday, March 5.
>And God logged on at 12:01:00 AM, Friday, March 6.
>c:\>Create cattle
>Done
>c:\>Create creepy_things
>Done
>c:\>Now let us make man in our image
>Unspecified type. Try again.
>c:\>Create man
>Done
>c:\>Be fruitful and multiply and replenish the earth
and subdue it and have dominion over the fish of the sea and
over the fowl of the air and over every living thing that creepeth
upon the earth
>Too many command operands. Try again.
>c:\>Run multiplication
>Execution terminated. 6 errors.
>c:\>Insert breath
>Done
>c:\>Run multiplication
>Execution terminated. 5 errors.
>c:\>Move man to Garden of Eden
>File Garden of Eden does not exist.
>c:\>Create Garden.edn
>Done
>c:\>Move man to Garden.edn
>Done
>c:\>Run multiplication
>Execution terminated. 4 errors.
>c:\>Copy woman from man
>Done
>c:\>Run multiplication
>Execution terminated. 2 errors.
>c:\>Create desire
>Done
>c:\>Run multiplication
>And God saw man and woman being fruitful and multiplying
in Garden.edn
>Warning: No time limit on this run. 1 errors.
>c:\>Create freewill
>Done
>c:\>Run freewill
>And God saw man and woman being fruitful and multiplying
in Garden.edn
>Warning: No time limit on this run. 1 errors.
>c:\>Undo desire
>Desire cannot be undone once freewill is created.
>c:\>Undo freewill
>Freewill is an inaccessible file and is not undoable.
>Enter replacement, cancel, or ask for help.
>c:\>Help
>Desire cannot be undone once freewill is created.
>Freewill is an inaccessible file and cannot be deleted.
>Enter replacement, cancel, or ask for help.
>c:\>Create tree_of_knowledge
>And God saw man and woman being fruitful and multiplying
in Garden.edn
>Warning: No time limit on this run. 1 errors.
>c:\>Create good, evil
>Done
>c:\>Activate evil
>And God saw he had created shame.
>Warning system error in sector E95. Man and woman not in
Garden.edn. 1 errors.
>c:\>Scan Garden.edn for man, woman
>Search failed.
>c:\>Delete shame
>Shame cannot be deleted once evil has been activated.
>c:\>Delete freewill
>Freewill is an inaccessible file and cannot be deleted.
>Enter replacement, cancel, or ask for help.
>c:\>Stop
>Unrecognizable command. Try again
>c:\>Break
>c:\>Break
>c:\>Break
>ATTENTION ALL USERS *** ATTENTION ALL USERS: COMPUTER GOING
DOWN FOR REGULAR DAY OF MAINTENANCE AND REST IN FIVE MINUTES.
PLEASE LOG OFF.
>c:\>Create new world
>You have exceeded your allocated file space. You must delete
old files before new ones can be created.
>c:\>Delete earth
>Delete earth: Please confirm.
>COMPUTER DOWN *** COMPUTER DOWN. SERVICES WILL RESUME SUNDAY,
MARCH 8 AT 6:00 AM. YOU MUST SIGN OFF NOW.
>And God logged off at 11:59:59 PM, Friday, March 6.
TeriAnn Wakeman
CPU Compatability Evangelist
Apple Computer, Inc.
twakeman@apple.com "celebrating 10 years connected to the
internet"
