design - Land Rover section

 

 

Enlightenment

Return to Stories of The Green Rover

 

I was looking through old folders for interesting Land Rover stories stashed away on my computer and came across these two old emails I had saved

 

An email I sent to to LRO mail list in June 1997

As the scene opens Our heroine is sitting at the end of the day, a bottle of ale in hand, staring at a pair of front leaf springs, oil and dirt encrusted, laying in the dirt. The ends of each leaf separated from its neighbour, showing the stresses of 37 years under a working Land Rover 109.

Our heroine is dressed in greasy dusty levis and a black tee shirt equally showing the day's efforts. She has old grease up past her elbows, a grease smudge on one cheek and more than a couple oak leaves caught in her hair. She sits in the warm glow of the lowering sun, occasionally taking a sip from a bottle of ale while contemplating the day's work.  She has just finished replacing the Land Rover's ancient front leaf springs with new one ton springs and extended shackles. She had to use her spare set of new rear 'U' bolts to tie the axle to the springs because her new front ones did not come with nuts and there was no local source of BSF nuts. She had to drill out the holes in the bottom plate one size to fit the larger diameter rear 'U' bolts. Once the springs were on, she discovered that 109 regular shocks are not long enough to fit under a 109 with one ton springs and extended shackles. She was going to have to order a new set of shocks on Monday. After installing the new springs and shackles she had adjusted the front brakes and topped off the front axle fluids before replacing the front wheels. A long day's hard work. The 109 now sits noticeably nose high. The rear view mirrors provide views of the dirt behind the Land Rover and the headlamps are aimed to signal UFOs.

As she takes another sip, she contemplates the next step of the project,, replacing the rear axle housing with its broken axle. Sitting nearby is a fresh Salisbury unit and new rear springs. With new rear springs The Green Rover should once again sit level. She contemplates the worn rear springs with the tattered rear check straps currently under the 109. Except for the weight of Salisbury, the job shouldn't be too bad. The rear 'U' bolts were replaced on both sides a little over a year ago after ripping out a pair while rock crawling in a desert canyon. One of the rear shackles is only a few years old. Replaced because the old one broke. There should be no rust back there. The leaks from the engine has been keeping the undercarriage well lubricated.

New leaf springs, rear drive shaft, shackles, shocks, check straps, and 'U' bolts. A temporary reversal of entropy.

As she takes another sip, she feels the aches of wrestling the front leaf springs into place and lining up the front axle. She wonders how she got so out of shape and so old. Entropy, always the enemy to be fought; always the final victor. No matter how valiant the battle, or how many times your efforts set back the forces of entropy, entropy can not be denied its due in the end.

As our heroine takes another sip of ale, she feels that she has achieved a greater insight into Norse mythology and she is not comforted by it.

TeriAnn
A citizen of the internet community since 1986

 

Saved from a 1996 email

I don't remember where this came from but I had to save it to share.  This is the story of how our world almost came to an end ages ago.   Back before Microsoft copied the Macintosh interface, back before the Macintosh put concepts developed at Xerox park to practical use, back before the folks of Xerox park developed concepts of a more natural user interface using this mouse thing recently developed at SRI, back in the the beginings of time, there was ... the command line editor.   And so in the begining of time: ...

 

>THE CREATION:

>In the beginning there was the computer. And God said

>c:\>Let there be light!

>Enter user id.

>c:\>God

>Enter password.

>c:\>Omniscient

>Password incorrect. Try again.

>c:\>Omnipotent

>Password incorrect. Try again.

>c:\>Technocrat

>And God logged on at 12:01:00 AM, Sunday, March 1.

>c:\>Let there be light!

>Unrecognizable command. Try again.

>c:\>Create light

>Done

>c:\>Run heaven and earth

>And God created heaven and earth. And God saw there were 0 errors.

>And God logged off at 12:02:00 AM, Sunday, March 1.

>And God logged on at 12:01:00 AM, Monday, March 2.

>c:\>Let there be firmament in the midst of water and light

>Unrecognizable command. Try again.

>c:\>Create firmament

>Done.

>c:\>Run firmament

>And God created firmament. And God saw there were 0 errors.

>And God logged off at 12:02:00 AM, Monday, March 2.

>And God logged on at 12:01:00 AM, Tuesday, March 3.

>c:\>Let the waters under heaven be gathered together unto one place and let the dry land appear and

>Too many characters in specification string. Try again.

>c:\>Create dry_land

>Done.

>c:\>Run dry_land

>And God divided the waters. And God saw there were 0 errors.

>And God logged off at 12:02:00 AM, Tuesday, March 3.

>And God logged on at 12:01:00 AM, Wednesday, March 4.

>c:\>Create lights in the firmament to divide the day from the night

>Unspecified type. Try again.

>c:\>Create sun_moon_stars

>Done

>c:\>Run sun_moon_stars

>And God created lights in the firmament. And God saw there were 0 errors.

>And God logged off at 12:02:00 AM, Wednesday, March 4.

>And God logged on at 12:01:00 AM, Thursday, March 5.

>c:\>Create fish

>Done

>c:\>Create fowl

>Done

>c:\>Run fish, fowl

>And God created the great sea monsters and every living creature that creepeth wherewith the waters swarmed after its kind and every winged fowl after its kind. And God saw there were 0 errors.

>And God logged off at 12:02:00 AM, Thursday, March 5.

>And God logged on at 12:01:00 AM, Friday, March 6.

>c:\>Create cattle

>Done

>c:\>Create creepy_things

>Done

>c:\>Now let us make man in our image

>Unspecified type. Try again.

>c:\>Create man

>Done

>c:\>Be fruitful and multiply and replenish the earth and subdue it and have dominion over the fish of the sea and over the fowl of the air and over every living thing that creepeth upon the earth

>Too many command operands. Try again.

>c:\>Run multiplication

>Execution terminated. 6 errors.

>c:\>Insert breath

>Done

>c:\>Run multiplication

>Execution terminated. 5 errors.

>c:\>Move man to Garden of Eden

>File Garden of Eden does not exist.

>c:\>Create Garden.edn

>Done

>c:\>Move man to Garden.edn

>Done

>c:\>Run multiplication

>Execution terminated. 4 errors.

>c:\>Copy woman from man

>Done

>c:\>Run multiplication

>Execution terminated. 2 errors.

>c:\>Create desire

>Done

>c:\>Run multiplication

>And God saw man and woman being fruitful and multiplying in Garden.edn

>Warning: No time limit on this run. 1 errors.

>c:\>Create freewill

>Done

>c:\>Run freewill

>And God saw man and woman being fruitful and multiplying in Garden.edn

>Warning: No time limit on this run. 1 errors.

>c:\>Undo desire

>Desire cannot be undone once freewill is created.

>c:\>Undo freewill

>Freewill is an inaccessible file and is not undoable.

>Enter replacement, cancel, or ask for help.

>c:\>Help

>Desire cannot be undone once freewill is created.

>Freewill is an inaccessible file and cannot be deleted.

>Enter replacement, cancel, or ask for help.

>c:\>Create tree_of_knowledge

>And God saw man and woman being fruitful and multiplying in Garden.edn

>Warning: No time limit on this run. 1 errors.

>c:\>Create good, evil

>Done

>c:\>Activate evil

>And God saw he had created shame.

>Warning system error in sector E95. Man and woman not in Garden.edn. 1 errors.

>c:\>Scan Garden.edn for man, woman

>Search failed.

>c:\>Delete shame

>Shame cannot be deleted once evil has been activated.

>c:\>Delete freewill

>Freewill is an inaccessible file and cannot be deleted.

>Enter replacement, cancel, or ask for help.

>c:\>Stop

>Unrecognizable command. Try again

>c:\>Break

>c:\>Break

>c:\>Break

>ATTENTION ALL USERS *** ATTENTION ALL USERS: COMPUTER GOING DOWN FOR REGULAR DAY OF MAINTENANCE AND REST IN FIVE MINUTES. PLEASE LOG OFF.

>c:\>Create new world

>You have exceeded your allocated file space. You must delete old files before new ones can be created.

>c:\>Delete earth

>Delete earth: Please confirm.

>COMPUTER DOWN *** COMPUTER DOWN. SERVICES WILL RESUME SUNDAY, MARCH 8 AT 6:00 AM. YOU MUST SIGN OFF NOW.

>And God logged off at 11:59:59 PM, Friday, March 6.

 

TeriAnn Wakeman
CPU Compatability Evangelist
Apple Computer, Inc.

twakeman@apple.com "celebrating 10 years connected to the internet"

Return to stories contents

 

Return to page top

 

If you would like to discuss any of the contents, or just say hi, please feel free to .

 

© 1997, 2001 TeriAnn Wakeman. All rights reserved.  Web site design by Marigold Ltd